Flash - Duel at the Pool - 2008

OK, I the Mako Shark, do hereby publicly acknowledge that my sorry fat Mako ass got kicked the other day.  Yes, the Whale Shark beat the Mako Shark by 90 seconds in a mano-a-mano duel to the death over 5 kilometers.

What does the Mako have to say about that?  "I want a rematch!"

Given it was a Thursday afternoon in September, the water was clear of kiddie pee and coconut oil.  The sun was shining and temperatures on the pool deck were in the high 20s.  Whale Shark and the Mighty Mako were attending a conference that day and decided to dog it for a couple of hours... but not before consuming their respective weights in sandwiches and pie.

Whale Shark and the Mako did their thing for the planet and car-pooled over to Kits Pool, but the devious Whale Shark flung the Mako's special racing shorts (the knee-length, powder blue Hawaiian ones that smell like mould) into the back seat where they remained during the duel.  From the get-go, Mako was at a disadvantage as, in the interest of public decency, he had to wear the Whales Shark's guachies.

For fuel, the Whale Shark chose orange Gatorade while the Mako went with a bottle of coke as the Sharkies were with his aloha shorts back at the conference.  The first 3 kilometers rolled by stroke for stroke as if on an odometer.  True, the blubbery Whale Shark did start to pull away at the start of km4, but only after striking the honest Mako on the head with his pull-buoys, which somehow kept flying off whenever the Mako pulled into the lead.

High-5s were exchanged at the end of 40 laps and both sharks dried off in the warm autumn sun and soaked in the magnificent views.  

Tradition has it that the winner of the Duel at the Pool buys the looser a beer.  However, the spendthrift Whale Shark broke with tradition by returning to the conference happy hour, leaving the thirsty Mako to survive on his own wits.

Best 2 / 3 next summer, Whale Shark?

The 2008 Duel At The (Kitsilano) Pool was held on Thursday afternoon, September 11, 2008 from 2h30 pm till 5h00 pm. The "race" involved swimming 40 lengths of the 137.5 metre Kitsilano pool, for a total of 5,500 metres. The Duel involved two participants … Ean Jackson, aging tri-athlete also known as the Mako Shark, and Jon Husband, almost-fat lazy slob, also known as the Whale Shark ... The hard-fought duel culminated in the Whale Shark touching home first in an elapsed time of 1 hour and 50 minutes, followed by the limping-along Mako Shark touching home in just under 1 hour and 52 minutes. The pace was pretty torrid (honestly … you try this), with the two 50+ year-old fake fish moving along at a pace of 2 minutes per 100 metres ... Ean "Mako" Jackson, promptly went to a sales meeting and then went out drinking (vestiges of his Iron Man mentality) whereas Jon "Whale" Husband went back to a conference reception, consumed two beers, and then went home to the confines of his personal Intensive Care Unit (also known as his bedroom) where he immediately passed out, exhausted.

.. especially given all the taunts and bravado flung at the (Great White) Whale Shark these past few weeks. .. Still in the ICU ?

Well, folks, it's over. The Mako Shark is now officially a floundering minnow ... his liver got ripped out and chewed up, tasty morsel by tasty morsel, as the (GReat White) Whale Shark led by a body length for the first 20 legths (2500 metres) and then slowly pulled away length after length for the second half of the race. As the Great White Whale shark touched home in 1 hour and 50 minutes, he lazed about at the finish line, waiting and waiting and waiting for the limping Mako Shark to struggle through the last length ... which he eventually did, touching home approximately 110 seconds after the Great White Whale Shark. Rumour has it that the Mako then quietly excused himself to go find an out-of-the-way corner to go and puke his guts out before going to find the glorious Great White to offer his contrite apologies for all the tasteless taunts leading up to the September 11 Duel. It remains to be seen whether the mortally-wounded Mako has any appetite for a return match on september 11, 2009.

Looks like the duel will be this Thursday afternoon.... Reef Shark, Red-Tailed Black Shark, Hammerhead Shark, take note!

So, when is 15:00 not 15:00, 'ya big guppy?  Thought we had a date?  Getting butterflies there, ole Whale Shark?

FYI.  After an honest day's work, I shovelled 22 wheelbarrows of gravel then did 20 laps at Kits Pool.  I think I'll go to the gym tonite for a little workout.

How flexible are you?  Can you touch your toes?  Can you place your palms flat on the floor?  If you can do that, then bend down, put your head between your legs and kiss your sorry ass goodbye!   Ha ha ha.  You are so dead, pal. 

September 6, 2008 ... 26 lengths = 3,575 metres . September 7, 2008 ... 6 lengths - 875 metres (full on sprints) , September 8, 2008 ... 26 lengths = 3,575 metres . Your reputation in the Lower Mainland is ON THE LINE !

Conspicuously absent from the pool these days, and all I keep hearing are excuses such as: 1. I haven't been training, 2. They closed the pool on me in my neighbourhood for maintenance 3. I don't want to swim when it's cloudy, only sunny and hot, 'cuz I get cold .... waaahhhh (I even gave you a wetsuit tailored for swimming), 4. My wife stole the car on me, 5. I've got meetings You might think you're setting the expectations bar lower, but I think you are just getting ready psychologically to taste the bitter, bitter fruits of ignominious defeat.

Date Stamp: Sept. 5, 2008 Time Stamp: 13h00 - 14h00 Logged 26 lengths 26 X 137.5 metres = 3,575 metres

His fate is inevitable.  The Mako Shark is merciful.  Hopefully, the Whale Shark won't suffer long.

Feed me!

 

Date stamp: September 2, 2008 Time stamp: 14h00 - 15h15 ... 24 lengths X 137.5 metres = 3,300 metres Fresh as a daisy ! By the way, check your challenge above ... it's only 20 laps = 40 lengths. 80 lengths would equal 11 kilometres (which I am fine to go in terms of distance, if you really want a thrashing !).

I haven't done anything with this club before but I'll see ya at the pool !

Yikes. 5K is a long way to swim. That's 40 laps, eh? The Whale Shark is currently in Montreal. I understand he has been doing laps in his hotel bathtub. May have to postpone the duel date...especially if there are other sharks out there planning to call our bluff. If it's the Black-Tipped Reef Shark I think it is, this old Mako just pee'd himself and is heading for the nearest hidey-hole in the coral!

Hey Jackson, Rumor is that there may be a blacktip reef shark joining you for the duel. This shark does well in captivity and this particular one can often be found swimming in a large aquarium in Langley. W

I might join you - after the long morning marathon training run this should be good cross training; I might be a bit late. Would be great if some of the other fools could come out for something different.

It was a bit dicey because my ribs started to poke out after the ski crash there, but tonight it was back into the pool for old Mako.  Only 25 minutes.  Nothing to get the runs over.  I'm being straight with you... you currently have a leg up, but enjoy it while it lasts because I've duct-taped my ribs back together and I've got your number...

Been training much this week, Whale Shark?  Me neither.  I've been sharpening my teeth, though. 

Chomp, chomp...

Mako 

How's the water in Lake Okeechbee?

It's a swamp, brother Whale Shark.  You paid all of that $$ to go to Florida for some secret training and all you got to swim in is a swamp.  Watch your back when you're swimming in the swamp, because I told cousin snapping turtle you were coming.

Little Mako has down in the corals observing the Whale Shark.  Biding his time, sharpening his teeth...

Chomp, chomp

Yo Whale Shark,

I had a sentimental moment while dreaming up new taunts. Here's some history on the Duel at the Pool...

Thoughts on 2007

Mindless banter by the Whale Shark - July 07

Proof positive that Whale Shark got his butt kicked in 2006

August 2006

Whale shark strokes self - Aug 06

More whale shark self-worship before disembowellment by mako - Aug 06

The Whale Shark's very own blog

Kits Pool photo and original challenge