Musings of a converted Fat Asser

There were two questions that immediately came to mind when my friend Pete talked to me about running the "Fat Ass 50" on New Year's day 2006.  The first was why would you admit to having a fat ass?- after all I have spent many years of concealment and skillful dressing to disguise this fact; - and the second question was - why would I want to run 50kms on New Year's day after a night of partying and drinking?

It was only after seeing the logo on the T-shirt that  I knew I would participate in this event- after all how else could I legitimately claim ownership of such a shirt?

Knowing that I wasn't the only loonie in the bunch, recruitment in the form of Sunday White Spot breakfasts and Wednesday evening after-running drinks at the bar (Canadian Army take note of superior recruitment tactics) resulted in eighteen enlistees from Coquitlam signing up for the Fat Ass 50 event.

So here we all were, eighteen people with fat asses coming out of the closet to show up clean and sober on January 1, 2006, ready to run 50kms.  To put an exclamation mark on our fat ass "outing", our running pal Elke donned a rubber fat ass to her shorts to ensure there was no subterfuge.  Photo identification of all participants took place around the fire hydrant at Brockton Oval (move over all canine creatures) and then we were off.

Our fearless Peter navigated us through the maze of Stanley Park trails- after all we were yokels from the "burbs" - and we wound our way around the bay to Spanish Banks and Jericho Beach.  Of course we had our survival vehicle, the "Norco Van" with our intrepid volunteer Pat at the helm, following us to ensure our every need was catered to - I mean doesn't everyone have one of those?  To supplement our supplies we felt obliged to partake at the refreshment tent at Jericho Beach.  The chicken soup with 20 cloves of garlic was particularly appealing (maybe not so much 10kms later) as was the guy with the nice blue eyes that was serving it, - some women of the group took particular notice of this.

We headed up into the UBC endowment lands, faithfully following our leader, passing through amazing scenery to successfully make it to the turn-around. Of course we had to replete ourselves once again at our survival vehicle, do a complete strip of clothing on the side of the road - we all have the same basic anatomy with minor variations - and head back again.

Needless to say tired legs and aching bodies were the order of the day and the wind and rain that greeted us on our return journey along Spanish Banks added that extra touch.  However we strode purposefully forward through the looming twilight, meandered to a crawl through Stanley Park, girded our loins and joined hands to run a dramatic finish into Brockton Oval.  Collapsing deliriously over the fire hydrant six hours and forty-seven minutes later, we all agreed it was a great way to bring in 2006.  The Great Visionary who thought up this event and the wonderful members of Club Fat Ass have out undying (or is it dying?) thanks.  We checked out asses, noted they were still of a considerable size- dare I say fat?- and decided we were candidates again for the 2007 Fat Ass 50 event.  Thanks to all for an amazing time!!



Ean Jackson's picture


From your report, Rhonda, it doesn't look like you were one of the many people who, let's say, unintentionally invented their own custom course on New Years Day. I have been called many names, but "Great Visionary" is certainly a new one. 'Glad you had fun...and I look forward to getting lost in your neck of the woods if you host a Club event!

Ean "The Great Visionary" Jackson
Host of the Vancouver New Years Day FA50

Well Ean, We could have easil

Well Ean, We could have easily invented our own custom course but Pete kept us on the straight and narrow.  Glad you like the "Great Visionary" title just don't wear your spectacles any time soon.  We all look forward to seeing you at our event on April 22.



Sibylle's picture


Not only can the Coquitlam crowd run it seems they are also hilarious writers ;-)  Congrats on a great run, Rhonda!


I for one did not notice any blue eyes - too busy looking for the cookies and jelly worms! Got to keep the FA in fighting trim you know! Coquitlam Rocks! (but rolling downhill is easier)

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