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The Midnight Rambler
Your Club Fat Ass Event Host
Run Day (Date CENSORED) | |
17:30 | Check the weather. If it's not raining, meet at a secret location in North Vancouver. |
18:00 | Depart for drop-off point |
19:00 | Hit the trail commando style. This is a group run! |
~23:00 | Arrive at Mosquito Creek Bar & Grill for celebratory pint. (Or not.) |
Rumor had it that several Capilano Commandos had been taken prisoner, never to be heard from again. Rumor had it that given the hostile environment, there would be no one brave enough to attempt such a physically-demanding and dangerous mission ever again.
Don't always believe the rumor mill! In fact, much planning went into devising a new route through the Forbidden Forest during 2007 that promised less likelihood of being captured. Several scouting missions were undertaken during the summer and fall to map alternative routes and to test the defenses of the defenders of the Forbidden Forest.
I have been informed by sources close to the Capilano Commandos that a foray into the Forbidden Forest Run was recently undertaken in stealth mode by an elite team of 3 veterans and one experienced newbie. In contrast to previous missions, this one was undertaken in broad daylight.
The Capilano Commandos are claiming an overwhelming success. Apparently, the route qualifies as an "ultra" and that it is considerably more difficult, but also less confrontational than previous routes. All Commandos are claiming "first bagger rights" for running a course that has never been run before.
Being captured was not an option! Special attention was given to making sure that any reflective labels were covered by black duct tape in case helicopters with searchlights or defenders with night vision goggles were called in to give chase. The Commandos dressed in black and carried enough emergency equipment and rations to survive for weeks in the wilderness if confronted by the defenders of the Forbidden Forest.
The majority of the route was covered in snow when the mission was attempted. This slowed the Commandos down somewhat, but did not discourage them. Traces of the the defenders of the Forbidden Forest could be clearly identified in the snow, but approaching vehicles were only heard once and were not spotted at all.
The mission was not without danger and surprise, however. An elk and 2 grouse startled the Commandos as darkness blanked the valley. All Commandos got soakers and dirty shoes in the quicksand... a trap that must have been installed since the last scouting foray. One Commando fell on the ice, but was saved from harm by his fat ass. The same experienced veteran twisted his ankle on the flats near the finish and was assisted to the medical tent by his comrades where he was quickly revived with popcorn and oatmeal stout.
Rumour has it that the next mission throught the Forbidden Forest will be in the summer of 2008. All are welcome to volunteer for the mission. Given the sensitive nature of the mission, however, only those who have signed up to volunteer will be notified of the date. Note: In order to limit the numbers of the Capilano Commandos, new recruits may be subjected to a severe hazing!
The Midnight Rambler
2005 (Second Running) Forbidden Forest Run Starters
2005 Forbidden Forest Run Finishers Enjoying a Celebratory Pint
Injury and a lack of planning saw the second running of the Forbidden Forest run postponed until the late summer of 2005. To shake things up a bit, we opted to set off on our mission earlier so as to not run the risk of missing last call at the pub. We kept the same route, but added a solo Kamikaze bicycle rider who would ride scout in front of the runners with a walkie talkie and take the hit for the team, should it be required.
Given that the route had already been run and that veteran Capilano Commandos were on the mission, there was less need to consult the maps. It took roughly 90 minutes to cover the 10K trek to the Forbidden Forrest.
The proper hardware was at hand to get not only the runners but the scout bike into the Forrest. Would the patrol come at the same time? Since it was daylight, would we know when a patrol was approaching? Was the rumor about heat sensors and helicopter patrols being implemented true? With these and other questions in mind, we set off into the Forbidden Forest.
In the light of day, the Forbidden Forest looked even more magical than in the night. Our biker tried to stay a kilometer or so ahead of the runners with explicit instructions to warn us of any approaching patrols, be they overhead, on the trail or on foot. 10K, 15K, 20K, 25K into the Forrest the warning didn't come, so our biker held back with runners. "Lights!" the call rang out and Capilano Commandos scattered into the dark forest. False alarm. We had reached the end of the Forbidden Forest and were given a fright by car lights from the city.
There was no race for the pub, as we were a couple of hours earlier and our destination had chanced to the Mosquito Creek. Yeh... there would be time to have some burgers with our celebratory beer!
Mission accomplished. 100% finish rate with no casualties whatsover.
Inaugural (2003) Forbidden Forest Run Starters
2003 Forbidden Forest Run Finish Line
This, the first year of the Forbidden Forest Run, was full of mystery and excitement. Where would we start? Where would we finish? Where would we go and what dangers were waiting for us on this top secret mission?
Since none of us had run this route, we often stopped to consult the topographical maps. Arriving at the Forbidden Forest itself, we had to discover a way in. Once in the Forest itself, we had to be constantly vigilant for motion detectors, helicopter and Humvee patrols, hidden cameras and all manner of booby traps.
As night fell upon the Forbidden Forest, a sharp call of, "It's a light...hit the dirt," rang out and all 6 Capilano Commandos leaped from the trail impaling themselves on sticks, scraping their hands and shins on the rough rocks. But they were not discovered. A muffled cheer rang out and the mission continued with 4 commandos running forward and 2 running backwards to keep watch for the returning patrol vehicle.
It was now total darkness, but the Commandos ran without their headlamps. Several kilometers down the trail, dark shadows were seen milling about ahead. Was it bears... or worse, an ambush? Actually, it was a road sign and an outhouse, but the adrenalin level was definitely running at a high.
"Hit the dirt!" Again, we leapt from the trail into the inky darkness, but this time into a patch of prickle bushes. Again, the patrol passed without discovering our presence. We exchanged high-5s and soldiered on.
At roughly 37K into the mission, we rounded a corner and came to lights. "It's an ambush!" and we scattered, only to learn that these were the lights of civilization at the far edge of the Forbidden Forest.
Once back onto familiar territory, our pace picked up and mission became one of making last call at the pub. We arrived at the Avalon at roughly 12:30 and managed to get in 2 quick rounds before closing.
Mission accomplished. 100% success with no losses save a few scrapes and bruises.
As much a commando raid as a run, the Forbidden Forest Run is a challenge to even the most experienced athlete: The route is approximately 45 kilometers long. It is a group run where the slowest person is expected to be able to complete the distance in 4 hours. Footing ranges from single-track to gravel and may involve bushwhacking in dense prickle bushes. There is no access to food or aid of any kind along the route. Much of the run is completed in the night without a flashlight or headlamp.
Specific details of the route are top secret. In general terms, it starts just off the Sea to Sky Highway between West Vancouver and Squamish, British Columbia, Canada. The finish is the Mosquito Creek Bar & Grill in North Vancouver. The objective is to make it to the pub by last call.
Until the summer of 2003, it is believed that this was one of the rare trails in and around Vancouver that had never been officially "bagged" by a runner. Word on the street was that an elite mountain biker or two had survived this challenge with minor superficial wounds. While some runners have attempted it, none were known to have succeeded.
On the evening of Friday 25 July 2003, six ultramarathon runners from the Vancouver area (the original Capilano Commandos) successfully completed the mission in just under 5 hours. It took incredible stamina, nerves of steel and, since they navigated most of the 45 kilometer run without lights, outstanding night vision.
The course was not challenged until Saturday 10 September 2005. On that evening, 5 runners and one cyclist completed a slightly shorter route under slightly different circumstances in 4:06.
Anyone who feels they have what it takes to become a Capilano Commando is welcome to apply. Since this is an elite team mission, applicants may have to complete a hazing ceremony before receiving a confirmation. The date of the next attempt will remain a secret until the last possible moment, but will most likely take place on a Friday or Saturday evening in August under a full moon.
If you'd like to support the Forbidden Forest Run in some way, we'd love to have you onboard. At the very least, we can promise you a place on this Thanks page!
Please complete an application and note your thoughts in the comments box. (No, you don't have to run!)
Many thanks to:
Paul Quinn, a top Vancouver ultramarathon runner is known to have made two valiant, but unsuccessful attempts in the late '90s. 2006 was a bad year, as 2 bait riders and 5 runners did not make the pub unscathed.
All Capilano Commandos who successfully complete the mission have been promised a free pint by Managers Lucie Paquet and Kelly Nielson. Must be there by last call! www.mosquitocreek.net
Rick is our official cartographer. Thanks for the great maps, Rick.
Club Fat Ass helps this run with web hosting, online registration and coaches us on how to host a safe, fun, environmentally-friendly event. (Note: This is one event she really didn't want to have anything to do with, so don't blame her!)
'Can't mention your names, but you know who you are! Thanks!!
Q: | I've never done a trail run before. Is this a good place to start? |
A: | No way. In any case, only Club Fat Ass members who can prove they have survival skills training and can run a sub 3:30 marathon on trails will be invited. Preference will be shown to former Green Berets, SAS, US Navy SEALS or other elite military experience. |
Q: | How tough is the course? |
A: | It's no walk in the park. |
Q: | This event is free, but for Club Fat Ass members only. How do I get into the club? |
A: | You can register online for a nominal fee. |
Q: | It's a free world. What's to stop me from just running the course. |
A: | Try it alone and you might die trying! |
Q: | What if I get lost? |
A: | You may die cold, alone and in excruciating pain. |
Q: | What is the 'Rule of the Trail'? |
A: | If you pack it in, you can pack it out. (That means don't you dare litter!) Leave nothing but your footprints on the trail. |
Q: | What should I bring on event day? |
A: | See agenda. |
Q: | I am supposed to be self-sufficient because there is no aid provided. Can I get a friend to come out and give me food and drink along the route? |
A: | Once we drop into the course, there will be no access for approximately 40 kilometers. |
Q: | Can I bring my friends and family to the finisher party even if they didn't run or volunteer? |
A: | Sure. It would be good if you could convince them to shuttle us to the start, as well! |
Q: | When will the 'official' results be available? |
A: | The results will only be known to those who complete the mission. |
Q: | How can I learn more about forbidden forests in the Greater Vancouver Regional District? |
A: | Take a bus tour. Details at www.gvrd.bc.ca or call 604-987-1273. |