Flash - The Silly Chili Triathlon


Date: TBD 2012

Location: North Shore - Details to be send out to registrants

The Silly Chili triathlon is both something athletic and social to do with your family or significant other on the Remembrance Day holiday.  It goes like this:

1. Run (13:00 - 14:00). An interval session of about one (1) hour on a wide gravel trail next to a rushing river. Warm-up jog from the start at the Griffin Gym up Mosquito Creek to the yellow bridge. Set your watch, then run or walk up to the bridge at Mount Royal Boulevard and back as many times as you want. (It usually takes me about 12 minutes round trip and I'm a lame old dog.) Jog back to the gym.

2. Swim (14:00 - 15:00). Do laps, play murder ball, do cannon-balls off the high board or just stew in the hot tub, steam room or sauna.  It's only a few bucks to get in and there is lots of free parking available. Heads-up: They clear kids out at 3:00.

3. Chili cook-off (15:00 - whenever). Just like in Texas. (Well almost. It is hard to get armadillo meat in Vancouver.) Rather than spending the afternoon cooking, we ask that you bring your favorite chili ready to be reheated. (Chili recipe thoughts below.  Ideally, bring your chili in a slow cooker so it's easy to keep warm and serve.) Give your chili a name for the competition and, if you're willing, your five-star recipe to share. Everyone will get a rating card and be asked to rate what they sample out of 10. If you are not a great chili cook do not despair. How about bringing a pot of rice, cornbread, tortillas, guacamole, desert or ???

Confirm if you will join us here.


Notes from Previous Years

Year 1 - OverviewResults and RecipesDebate on What's a Real Chili (1), Debate cont'd (2)

Year 2 - Overview, Results and Recipes

Year 4 - Overview, Results and Recipes


Hints and Tips for a Chili Cook-off

Here are some great links for chili recipes and the philosophy of a chili cook-off:

International Chili Society. Lots of lore and legend and a few good recipes. Goodness, some people really get excited about cooking chili!

Texas-Style Chili Recipes

Lore, Legend and Good Links to Recipes




Silly Chili Triathlon Results

Silly Chili Triathlon Results - 2011

For the fourth year in a row, this triathlon turned out to have a small but enthusiastic run and swim following, and a loud, raucous and passionate turnout for leg 3, the chili cook-off.

Leg 1 - The Run

Hardcore regulars Kim, Sibylle, Susan and myself showed up at the Griffin Gym in North Vancouver.  We were joined by Monika from Vancouver who looked a bit bewildered.  "I was expecting a throng of triathletes with chili bowls", she confessed as we jogged to the start.  It was cool, gray and threatening to rain at any minute, but actually quite pleasant for running.

For those not familiar with the Mosquito Creek trail, it's like a country road:  rock and gravel surface, wide enough for a car, adjacent to a wide creek and decidedly uphill to
the turnaround.  For those not familiar with Club Fat Ass events, whining, in whatever form, is not allowed.  Of course, the whining started as soon as the trail got a bit steeper and it started to spit with rain...  

Tradition calls for each participant to touch the sign in front of the yellow bridge, run to the Mount Royal bridge and touch it, then retrace their steps back down the trail.  Repeat as many times as possible in an hour.  

The skies opened up with thunder and a brief downpour as we made our way back to the gym.  This was followed by a brief, but intense bout of hail, then glorious sunshine for the swim leg.

1 lap Sibylle
2 laps Susan (note: she did the long course)
3 laps Monika, Kim, Jackson

Leg 2 - The Swim

This leg of the triathlon is somewhat open to interpretation, as it does not absolutely require that one swim laps.  Most of the participants went directly into the hot tub.  Monika and Jackson actually did do a few laps of "tri swim", which is a form of full-contact swim that involves crawling-over, rolling over or otherwise trying to take-out the other person in the lane.  A mentally handicapped swimmer with whom we shared the lane was delighted with the concept.  John Machray appeared in the hot tub and was overheard trying to convince Susan to run 100-milers.  They spent the better part of an hour in the tub, so the “Dry as a Prune” award goes to the both of them this year.

Susan, Monika, John and Jackson

Leg 3 - The Chili Cook-off

This year we had nine contestants in the cook-off including two past champions (Wendy and Reagan).  The iron chefs and their contributions this year were:

1. Sweet Kick  Sibylle Tinsel (ground beef with chocolate
and spices)
2. Satan's Ice Cream Wendy Montgomery (bold and beefy)
3. East Van Supreme Reagan, Isaac and & Carter White (veggies, beans and spices)
4. Wet Running Shoe Karl and Lorraine (veggie delight)
5. Red Racer Gabi & Graham Kwan (kid friendly - favorite of the Cypress kid ski racers)
6. Bagger's Two Craig Moore & Vicky Forsyth - full of beanie goodness
7. All Gobbled Up Patricia, Hanna & David Jensen (turkey chili with all the trimmings)
8. Eastern Safari Chili Mebs Tejpar (a spicy meat chili with a taste of Africa from someone who lived there)
9. Chili Con Valley Glenn, Manon and Gabrielle Pace (all-meat with
a bit of afterburn)

After being provided with a scorecard and a bowl, everyone  was free to sample chilies at their own pace.  While a bit subjective and somewhat depending on the participant, the finish line was determined to be the point at which the participant uttered, "I'm stuffed!"  Those who started with larger bowls and cleansed their palates with cornbread muffins or soft tortillas where first to reach the finish line.  Several participants had a second wind and returned for a bake-off of their favorite chilis.

When the last bowl was laid to rest on the table, the voting started.  This is where things became a bit controversial...

To determine the most popular chili, we had 2 rounds of a show of hands. Round one narrowed the field to 5 contestants.  The second round of voting was limited to the winners of round 1.  The more statistically inclined in the room pointed out numerous voting irregularities with this method.  (sidenote:  Sue is a self-diagnosed anal-retentive and Mebs is the president of a software company that develops grading rubrics.  Think of how you two could improve the scoring if you had a year to collaborate on it! )  It was also a very, very close vote.  In the end, however, the Chili Con Valley from La Famille Pace prevailed.

Many thanks to the following contestants and participants for all you did to make this a wonderful evening:

Wendy Montgomery, Reagan, Isaac and Carter White, Karl and Lorraine Jensen, Gabi and Graham Kwan, Craig Moore and Vicky Forsyth, Kim Taylor, Mebs Tejpar,
Glenn, Manon and Gabrielle Pace, Patricia, David and Hannah Jensen, Monika Kreidemann, Susan Hui, John Machray, Sibylle Tinsel and Ean Jackson.

Ean Jackson and Sibylle Tinsel
Hosts of the Silly Chili Triathlon

PS  I will post the recipes of all chefs who share them with me 

PPS Registration is now up for the 2012 event.  Sign up now to avoid disappointment: www.clubfatass.com/events/flash-silly-chili-triathlon/2012

Silly Chili Triathlon Results - 2010

Goodness, there was a lot of chili this year! 

A record-breaking 14 chilis representing what seemed like all possible meat and heat scales were represented in this 3rd annual celebration.  Crock pots covered all available space on the counter and the dinner table groaned under the weight of tortillas, cornbread, pies and other goodies.

Here are some highlights:

  • a small number of tough cookies showed up at the Griffin gym for the run leg of this triathlon.  A torrential downpour abated somewhat as we made our way up Mosquito Creek for some intervals next to the raging river.  Smelling of tobacco smoke, John gutted out a lap.  The girls got 4 laps in.
  • there was a good turnout at the pool for the swim leg.  A couple of participants actually swam lengths, while most simmered in the hot tub
  • there was a spicy edge to the air back at the ranch for the final leg.  The chilis just kept on arriving!
  • Rachel provided a bit of a diversion during the judging when her hair caught fire.  If there ever was any doubt, she's one fiery redhead!
  • the keg of Fat Ass Special IPA was not drained, but almost
  • by popular vote (closest to the post) Wendy Montgomery won the cookoff with Rojo y Calor.  The Placebo Chili and Left Turn at Albuquerque were close runners-up.  (Nobody voted for my Squirrel Chili!)
  • John managed to find some takers for his 20-year old mescal, but we saved the worm for another day
  Chili Name Chili Cook(s)
1 Squirrel Chili Action Jackson
2 Sibylle's Screaming Sensation Sibylle
3 Left Turn at Albuquerque Reagan
4 Flatulent Fool Karl and Lorraine
5 3-Bimentional Chili Bruce & Roxy
6 Sweet Smoke Run Rick
7 Turkey Chili Des & Lisalotte
8 You Won't Notice It's Vegetarian Claudia
9 Rojo y Calor Wendy
10 Spineless Chili Hanna & Patricia
11 Placebo Chili Kathy & Terry
12 Chili Sans Cafe Rhonda
13 Mosquito Bite Chili Steve Threndyle
14 Tequila Special John Machray

Thank you to everyone for making this special event a lot of fun all'round.

Ean Jackson and Sibylle Tinsel
Co-Hosts of the Silly Chili Triathlon

PS  There's a nice plastic prosecco glass, a couple of spoons and a single glove in the lost-and-found.

Registration - Flash - Silly Chili Triathlon

Thank you for registering online and in advance.

This is a Club Fat Ass (CFA) event, so we adhere to CFA event management guidelines and privacy policy. Please complete the whole form. Your personal information is needed to make sure I spell your name right in the results and so I can contact you... or your next of kin! The other information helps me to plan any aid or post-event activities. Please help me to host a safer, better event by registering early and by notifying me if you can't make it. I'm constantly looking for ways to improve, so please share your thoughts or questions with me in the Suggestion Box below. After you click on "Yes, I agree" below, your registration details will be confirmed.

Sibylle Tinsel and Ean (Roadkill) Jackson
Your Club Fat Ass Flash Event Hosts

There is no fee and you don't need to be a member of Club Fat Ass to participate in a Flash event, however whining is not allowed.

Registration is required. If you would like to become a member of Club Fat Ass please choose a membership type

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Check all events that you are planning to participate in. To select multiple events, hold down ctr and then select the events.
Please select your chili cook-off contribution(s). We will shut down the chili option when we reach 10 registered chilis. In other words, when you don't see an option to select "chili" as your dinner contribution, we already have enough chilis in the contest. We find 10 chilis is about all we can handle ;-) But don't despair, even if you are not a chili cook-off contestant, you can contribute a side dish, desert or appy.
Please let me know if you have any questions that aren't answered on the event web page. If anything isn't clear, there are any problems with the website, you have any suggestions as to how I might improve the event or you have any special needs, please tell me here.